Blogging Around

Jamie's blog was about the process of revising her poem, which is also what my latest blog was about. Reading it, I discovered that she had a slightly different view of revising than I did. She said how valuable the revisions were for her and explained her thought process while revising.

"I agree that you sometimes have to be willing to let go of your original poem to make it better. For this poem, I think I didn't do a very good job of that and that is why my revisions aren't the greatest. For my next revision, I will have to try harder to take risks and sometimes even get rid of things that I think are good to make room for things that are great. I'm sure that these skills come with practice, so the fact that you had a lot of practice with excessive revising in junior high has probably helped you be a good reviser in high school. Hopefully, I will get to the point where I am willing to take risks and make drastic changes to improve my poem soon."


Emily's blog made a connection between King Lear and something she's very passionate about (the Bible). She talked about the similarities between King Lear and the story of the Lost Son. Though I hadn't read this story, I thought it was an interesting and valid connection.

"I liked your connection with the bible. I can see the many similarities between King Lear and the lost son story. I think a big difference that's important to note is whose fault the situation is. In King Lear, Cordelia, while she is being very stupid and short-sighted, is not really doing anything wrong. Rather, Lear is being childish and unreasonable. In the Lost Son, it is the other way around. I think the important similarity, though, and probably the main reason that this is a good connection is that both families reconcile and are reunited at the end of the story."

Metacognition: Revising Poems

I hate revising.

The revision process is, by far, my least favorite part of writing a poem. An analogy I would use is walking my dog. I'm enjoying myself, walking along, enjoying the fresh air. Then, my dog starts to go #2 and I know there's an unpleasant task in the immediate future. That's what revising is: picking up the poop in my poem. While I know it's necessary, it's always a pain, and sometimes if I forgot to bring poop bags, I just fake it. In this poem, I felt really good while I was writing it. I suffered very little writer's block, and I was able to make it a stream-of-consciousness type of thing while still picking each word carefully and making it flow.

When I got the first feedback from Mr. Allen, most of it made sense and, after the revisions, I noticed a small improvement in the poem. Even though I struggled through the revision process, I could see the positive results. However, when I got the second feedback, I had a very hard time keeping the feel and essence of my original poem while still applying as many of the suggestions as I could. I don't know why, but amid all the "more imagery" and "more specific", I had lost my original poem. I guess that's okay if the original wasn't that great, but I thought it was one of the best poems I've ever written. That's not saying much, but for me, it was a very good poem. After my final revisions, I looked back at the previous draft and realized that I liked it better than the new one. When I wrote the first poem, I was following my instincts and setting down actual feelings. In the third draft, it was Thesaurus Time.

I realize that this poem degradation is mostly my own fault, but I still think it would be a better idea (at least for me) to keep revision to a minimum, at least for poems. I understand that essays need to be revised several times to be the best they can be, but I think that it's a whole different story with poems. Next time, I hope that I can do a better job of revising, but I think the problem could be avoided entirely if there was simply less revision.

Best of Week: Sex with Sparknotes

I think that most teachers underestimate the power of humor. Just a couple of jokes here and there can turn a mind-numbing lecture into a lively discussion. Mr. Allen demonstrated the power of laughter with his sparknotes joke, which made the whole class crack up. That day was really stressful for me what with all the pruebas and noticias going on and having to worry about social studies and english tests the following Monday and Tuesday. Just that little bit of humor brightened my day a little bit and relieved some of the stress. I definitely think that teachers should be more willing to joke around with their students. Not only would that make class more enjoyable, but it would also make the students like the teacher more, which is always a good thing.

Not only would more humor be a positive thing in the classroom, but it would help to relieve anxiety in any situation. For example, a couple of years ago my dad turned 50 and had to go in for a prostate exam, which involves, among other things, the doctor sticking his finger up your butt. Needless to say, he wasn't thrilled about it and was a little nervous. When he got into the examining room, the doctor told him a joke (in the interest of keeping this post PG-rated, I probably shouldn't repeat it), which my dad said made him feel a lot more relaxed.

In conclusion, though it seems kind of silly, my Best of the Week wasn't an insightful King Lear insight or a really good comment pertaining to Artful Sentences. Rather, it was a brief moment of laughter, an occurrence that doesn't happen nearly enough during the school day.

Connection: King Lear and My Dad

Before you get the wrong idea about the connection I'm going to make, you should know that I'm not referring to my dad in real life. Rather, I am referring to the similarities between Lear and the character he's playing in a show that he's doing right now. The play is called "Drinking Alone" and it's about a dysfunctional family that's getting together for the first time in five years. It's mainly a comedy, but there are some very serious moments that made me think of King Lear.

In the play, my dad is the father, Ivan, who is estranged from his kids. When he comes to visit them, they kind of ignore him and, though his son Joe lets Ivan stay in his house, it is very grudgingly and he's not very nice to him. Throughout the play Ivan struggles as he realizes how much his kids hate him and, as the story progresses, the audience realizes that he has been largely misunderstood and that, while he is a jerk, he doesn't really deserve the harsh treatment he has gotten from his kids. This relates to King Lear because the audience/reader has mixed emotions about the character. On one hand, they were mean, unreasonable, and foolish toward the beginning of the story, so the scorn from their sons/daughters is not entirely undeserved. On the other hand, though, you really feel for them and hope that they are able to reconcile with their family. In "Drinking Alone", the reconciliation does eventually come at the end of the story. Somehow, I doubt it will be that neat and tidy in King Lear.

TED Presentations

When I found out that we were doing the TED project again this year, I had mixed feelings. On one hand, I thought that it was a cool idea last year when we did it, and enjoyed watching the TED videos. On the other hand, I knew that some significant changes would have to be made to motivate some of the juniors and seniors to actually work on the project.

When the project started, I was a little nervous because it seemed like only one or two people were working on the project. After the day that we got to meet with our group face-to-face (an important addition from last year), I felt like we were able to get everything figured out and figure out who was doing what. As time went on, I figured out that I had a really good group. No one was too domineering (like that girl in Margot's group) and no one completely slacked off (like a lot of other groups' juniors and seniors). Whereas last year I was having to nag people to work and sometimes just doing their parts for them, this year everyone worked together and did their fair share of the work. This was relaxing for me because I knew exactly how much work I had left to do and I didn't have to stress about possibly having to take on other people's tasks in addition to mine. Plus, the final product was better because more people contributed and instead of one or two people's ideas, we had eight people's ideas.

All in all, I think this year's TED project was way better than last year's. Though there were still some flaws that could be corrected if we were to do it again next year (i.e. certain teachers actually giving us less homework and not just adding "work on TED" to our regular work load), it was by and large a good project to do. I would definitely be open to doing it again next year.

Captured Thought: Length of Classes

As I was struggling to stay awake during health class last week, a thought occurred to me: Why must all of our classes be the same length? Does anyone other than my health teacher actually believe that health class is as beneficial as academic classes like math, english, or science? Honestly, most of the stuff we learn in health is either redundant (I've been learning about the effects of alcohol since 6th grade) or common sense (who'd have guessed that being fat isn't the greatest for your well-being?). I'm not bashing health class, but I do think that it would be more effective and efficient to have it be about half as long as my other classes, if not shorter. That way, I would have more time to learn things that could be useful later in life, and I wouldn't have to spend as much time learning things that are, let's just say less useful. In health, for example, my teacher struggles to find enough material to fill an hour and a half, or at least that's what it seems like. In some other classes, like math and social studies, we are constantly running out of time to learn all of the material. Though I'm not crazy about the idea of having to sit through more of these two classes, I think it would actually make them better. The main reason that I don't really like math is because it constantly feels like my teacher runs out of time to teach us the material, which often leaves me hopelessly confused. If we shaved some time off of less important classes like health, it would give these teachers more time to teach, and I think it would be a good thing for everyone involved.

360 Degrees: Football

Since the high school football is just getting to the critical moments (next week we play Niles North for conference), football's been on my mind a lot lately. To me, it is probably my favorite sport and a big part of who I am. By no means is it the only thing that's important to me, though.

I think for other people that play football, it can play a different role in their lives. Some people really don't care at all and, to them, it's not that important. They're just out there to have fun. Others are really intense and football is pretty much what they're all about. These guys tend to be the best players, but not always.

For people that don't play football, I think there are a lot of stereotypes that they believe that aren't necessarily true. The obvious one is that football players are stupid or bullies. Obviously this isn't completely false, but I'd say about three quarters of football players have brains large enough to formulate words and about half are intelligent or at least average. Everyone knows that football is physically demanding, but a lot of people underestimate the mental aspect. Each week on defense we get four or five page long scouting reports to memorize and we have to change our alignment/style of play. For example, Deerfield (we beat them last week 33-14) had 9 different formations and about 10 plays that they ran out of each formation (that's 90 plays, for any football players reading this). What's more, they frequently shifted between formations seconds before the snap, and we had to react and change our responsibilities before the snap. Obviously, we did a fairly good job because we held them to just 14 points. The worst part, though, is that this week we have to completely forget everything we drilled into our heads last week and memorize an entirely new scouting report. Add that to the myriad of our own offensive plays to remember, and you can get a sense of the brainpower it takes to excel in this sport.

All I'm saying is that football is no better or worse than any other sport. Actually, I think it is better than any other sport. That's why I play. However, I realize that to a lot of people that play other sports, all the attention lavished on the football team is a little offensive, and I think that some of the people that come to football games every Friday should come to a volleyball game or swim meet or even a cross country meet once in a while. They'll probably be pleasantly surprised. Who knows? They might enjoy it even more than a football game. But I doubt it.

Blogging Around

Stephanie's post was about her experiences as a waitress. She talked about how a lot of the customers are rude to her and looked at eating in a restaurant from a different point of view.

"I totally agree with what you said. I think that if someone yells at the person who is serving them because of a little mistake, that's kind of pathetic. For the past three summers I have caddied at a golf course, so I can relate to the frustration you feel when someone blows something way out of proportion. Luckily, I think I have it a little better than a waitress. Whereas the person who's such a jerk to you can just leave in a half hour and never see you again, if a golfer's mean to me they still have to be around me for at least four or five more hours, which can make things really awkward. You do have the added leverage of being able to spit in their food, though, which is a plus. You did a good job in the post looking at eating in a restaurant from a different perspective than most people are used to, and it was very well written."


Nick's post was about his favorite kind of music (hip-hop) and how a lot of people have preconceived notions about it. He addressed some of these criticisms and explained how and why he disagreed with them.

"I really liked how you tried to clear up a lot of misconceptions people have about hip-hop. Though I doubt that it will ever be my favorite kind of music, I can definitely respect the skill and talent it takes to be a successful hip-hop musician. I thought it was interesting to compare your post with Jon's, which was about classical music. He also addressed a lot of preconceived notions people have and explained why he thinks that people are dissing this genre without giving it a chance, which was a major theme in yours as well. Actually, I think that was a major theme in most people's posts. Whether it was you (hip-hop), Choi (classical music), Daniel (marching band), Emily (Academy), me (politics), or probably a lot of other people's that I didn't have time to read, almost everyone agreed that it's important to view things with an open mind."

360 Degrees: The Presidential Election

Lately, I've been wondering how different people view the presidential election. Most people are extremely narrow-minded about it, which kind of bothers me. It seems like a majority of people just pick their candidate a week after the conventions and then wall themselves off in a cocoon (metaphorically) until election day. They ignore anything negative about their favorite candidate and/or anything positive about the other one. I've tried to do the opposite of that though, even though my opinion, realistically, doesn't really matter because I can't vote. That hasn't stopped me from looking at the issue from more than one angle. A couple weeks ago, when a guy in my class (let's call him "Mitch") couldn't stop gushing about how great Obama's convention speech was, I asked whether he had seen the Republican convention also. He said something along the lines of, "Why should I? They're all idiots anyway. Obama's awesome!" Even though everyone's entitled to their own opinion, I personally don't think that their opinion means very much if they haven't informed themselves as much as possible about the alternatives. That's why I watched a little of both conventions. Like Mr. Allen said at the beginning of the year, people should ask, "To what degree do I understand that which I'm rejecting?" before they completely make up their minds one way or the other.

It's not that difficult for me to view the election through the eyes of an Obama supporter, because I'm surrounded by them, and would classify myself as one as well. My entire family, and a lot of my friends, are pulling for Barack, and, for me, it's easy to see why. With the economy tanking so badly, the war in Iraq hemorrhaging money (and lives), and the country in general in such poor shape, a breath of fresh air is long overdue. Many of those voting for Obama aren't voting for him, but voting against George Bush and the Republicans who screwed up the country so badly in the first place. In my opinion, if many of these people thoroughly examined the policies of Obama and John McCain, they might find that, McCain's party affiliation aside, they agree with him a lot more than they previously thought. Still others might find that if they set the candidates' charisma aside and actually examine the substance behind them, they might find out some things to change their opinion.

It's more of a challenge to put myself in the shoes of a McCain supporter, because I'm not one. If I were to truly be honest with myself, I would probably say that despite my best efforts to write this impartially, I'm pretty heavily biased toward Obama. It's probably for that reason that I was surprised that, when I thought about it, I realized something that, to me, seemed counterintuitive. It makes sense that, in general, voters on the McCain train (I'm copyrighting that) would be more rational and thorough than those of Obama. For the reasons listed above, it would be hard for them to justify the kind of adoration of McCain that Obama enjoys, because even the most die-hard Republicans are a little cynical after the disaster known as George Bush. Republicans with any intelligence (more people than you'd think) would have to examine McCain and his policies to make sure he isn't "more of the same".

Finally, believe it or not, there are perspectives outside of the United States. I asked myself what people in different countries think of this election. Do they think it's as important as Americans do? More? Less? Do they even care at all? If so, which candidate do most outsiders approve of? Do they have different reasons than that candidate's American supporters? I don't really know the answers to those questions, but I doubt that the rest of the world is as interested in us as we would like to think.

Even though I doubt that my opinion on the election will change, at least not in a major way, I do think it's a good idea to take a step back and view it from all perspectives, no matter how sure I may be in my convictions. This is a good idea for life in general, and I wish I did it more. If I evaluate my opinions and the opposing opinions of others, only good things can happen. I might decide that I was wrong and become enlightened, or my opinions could remain unchanged, but I would know that I was well informed and that would just strengthen my convictions.

Metacognition: Kite Runner Essay

At first, when I sat down to even pick a topic for the Kite Runner essay, I encountered a familiar feeling when in a situation like this: complete, udder confusion. I was lost, and several questions raced through my mind. What do I want to say? How am I going to say it? Is my topic clear/important/well thought out/unique enough? I was glad to find that just amassing evidence to support my topic helped me narrow it down considerably. Starting out, I picked three topics that really interested me, but when I thought about writing an evidence plan, I was quickly able to eliminate... all three of them.
I went back to the list of questions, though, and saw the one about closure. At first, I hadn't thought that there was enough evidence to support it, but when I looked at it again, I found that I had been wrong. My thesis kept popping up all over the book and I knew that this would be an essay that, if nothing else, would have a great topic.

Best of Week: Paying Closer Attention to Descriptive Paragraphs

I think the best comment in class this week came from Margot, regarding the metaphor Hosseini makes out of Amir putting a lot of sugar in his tea and Amir Khan drinking his black. When she said it, I wondered why I didn't even remember reading about that at all. I have to admit that a lot of times when I'm reading, I more or less skim over long descriptive paragraphs or the short sentences in between dialogue, thinking they're boring. Unimportant. The dialogue, to me, really shaped a story and the plot more than those descriptive paragraphs. Obviously, I was wrong. Though what a character says is significant, in a good piece of writing we can always glean more about their inner thoughts from what they do. Many times, a character won't say what they're feeling outright. Instead, the author choses to give us clues using their actions or behaviors.

Not only will I make sure to pay attention to non-dialogue parts of a story when reading, but I will try to say more by having the characters say less in my own writing. Not only will I be able to make it more interesting, but I will be able to give the reader more information that otherwise wouldn't have been there.

Change of Mind: Kite Runner

After Amir had his life-changing experience, there were many parts in the book where he was trying to "bury" his memories. This leads the reader to believe that that's what he wants. I thought that it would be best for Amir to try to forget about what happened. As the story progresses, though, it becomes clear that he isn't going to be able to do that. I now believe that the only way for him to get the proverbial monkey off his back is to go back to Afghanistan and confront his past.
Fortunately for Amir, he is getting a chance to atone for his sins by going to visit Rahim Khan. I think that Rahim Khan will probably have kept in touch with Hassan and that Amir will set out to find him and make things right. This, I have come to think, is the only way that Amir will be able to be at peace with himself.